Sunday, April 9, 2017

starting over has been the main theme in my life and I didn't plan it

I first started this blog apparently right around 12/21/08!  That is a long time ago. I had lots to write about and still do. I have been distracted and recently, I have somehow been reconnected with this blog. Although Facebook is a good place to connect with friends, it is not a good place to write meaningfuI deep searching my soul writing. I  first started writing this entry in 2013, got distracted, now I am back and it is 2017, Yikes! Now it is June 2018. I have yet to publish this particular.

 Maybe I just need to write a little here, a little there and leave it at that. I have finally put Blogger onto my favorites page. How long did it take me to figure that out to remind me to come and write? I love to write and now it is the time of my life to throw myself back into writing.  I have been gathering experiences in my life, so many that someone may be interested in the life of a blue collar working person.

 The writing I have been doing on face book has to leave that place and perhaps come here, perhaps get refined and edited by me and go somewhere else. I have to move these words around, to satisfy my needs. Now it is July, 30, 2014 Now it is August 6, 2014. Now it is April 9, 2017! Now it is June 2018!

This is the way it is, my life is a constant restart process.

At first I didn't have much say in the blog, but over time as with any writing bits and pieces come and then I find a way to put it together. I have had to reinvent myself from an early age. At first the reinvention was forced upon me. I didn't understand that it is in our nature to adapt and adjust to our environment, but that is what I have learned. This is my place, to adapt and adjust, make changes that I once thought were not possible, to start and restart again and again.

The fuel that keeps me moving forward is sometimes slow acting like molasses on a cold day. It drips on my inner time piece adding up over time to make the gears make a movement. It is like increasing gravity the closer we get to the center of our planet. My process though, is a contradiction. It has always been confusing and chaotic. I have learned to function and flourish in the chaos in my mind and survive and thrive.

I am the odd ball Clyde, but not the first one. I am grateful that my relatives before me were quirky, that I am from a line of quirky people who have looked hard into what their lives were all about, what their path should be. It has been a continuing journey of introspection. For a time when I was younger, about 10 years old I started to escape into books of science fiction and fantasy. I kept that up for about 3-6 years. Then I got lost again and I have been in and out of losing track for most of my life. It is the way I am and I am a survivor. I don't know why, but I accept the graces that have been bestowed upon me. I accept and am grateful I am still here to tell about it. I am working towards that end, but always starting again and again.

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