Friday, February 13, 2009

My hopeless despair has changed to something

I posted an ad last night on Craigs list and got a response. Just that small effort has changed my hopeless despair to hopeful uncertainty.

I am calling the guy today.

I didn't sleep well last night waking up 2 hours before I usually do. Thank goodness for coffee and that it is Friday.

My mind woke up thinking of how I am going to manage my stuff and what it is going to be like, giving up my cat and living in my van.

Of course, that would be somewhat better. I could pay off my debt and save money. Of course, I would have to become a member of the JCC or someplace with a shower, eat a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cliff bars, occasionally getting some greens somewhere.

I can do whatever is necessary to survive and not hurt anyone in the process. I just get so darned disappointed that the society that I thought would take care of me has little real idea just how desperate many of us are.

Even my friends all 3 of them here in PDX don't knwo how close I am to a new lifestyle change. I tell people that I am really poor, but I suspect most of them don't really believe it. I believe it now! Even I was in denial about my situation. It is real to me now. Action is called for and I am taking it!

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