Jeez, I know a lot about that. I still am subject to it. For instance, I have been attempting to do my taxes, quite simply said and quite simply done, yet I have found all kinds of reasons for putting them off even though I stand to get back amounts that I need. I have to find out what is so uncomfortable about it.
What it has to do with can not be simply stated as one reason, but it is many. The most telling though is the way I feel. Right now I am going through a huge life changing transition and my feelings are intense at times and less so at others.
I am uncomfortable right now because I am involved in a physical condition that I can't control. Having found out I have to have an operation I tried to put it off until June, but that can not be. I have to work out getting disability insurance and expedite the operation to a closer date. The seriousness of my injury is finally sinking in. I tore the connective tissue from my quadracep muscle to my knee. There is just a small bit of connective tissue still connected, allowing me to walk as I do, with difficulty. If those last strands of connective tissue also tear off, I will lose my ability to walk at all until it is reattached.
So, I have my helping the work along work, my taxes and still working at my job, but also trying to set up the disability insurance so I can take a leave of absence and get my surgery. This is causing me to feel very vulnerable because I am going to have to rely on the generosity of others to help me through this. I am going to have to trust that everything is going to work out. Trusting is apparently still a huge issue for me.
I have already been shown my family and friends are very supportive. I am truly grateful for this.
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